To anyone who carries the truth as a burden on their backs, something to hide from or shield from others, you’re using it wrong.
It’s actually the wings that free you.
For your personal growth, and for your business, it’s time to stop hiding. Your fear of owning your truth is hindering your success, your growth, and your happiness.
Before I dive into this, know that I’m no saint. I make mistakes. One of my biggest struggles in transparency is looking in the mirror to find my truth in where I’ve gone wrong, but once I find it I quickly come to terms with accepting and voicing it. I never forget that any truth of mine is a human truth, and we are all equal in that we all have them.
I speak with transparency about the things I know about myself. The good, bad, and ugly.
I can recognize it’s not that simple to those around me, and probably isn’t simple to you if you’re reading this, so read a little further and I’ll make it more objective for you.
The Myth
People always tell you to be honest because it’s “the right thing to do”, when in fact one can argue that in certain situations honesty isn’t the noble thing.
For instance: a husband on his death bed admits to his wife of 50 years that he had an affair. Was it the right thing to do?
The Truth
The reason for being honest isn’t just that it’s “the right thing to do”. (Which I would actually still argue it being the noble thing and take up timing as a completely different issue–personally).
The more compelling reason to be honest is that honesty comes with more personal and interpersonal benefits than any alternative lack of transparency.
So while you’re busy being burdened with the fear of people knowing you better, I’m over here setting my truth firmly on the table. Freeing the people who aren’t a good fit for me and my business and character, attracting those who are, and walking through life free as a fucking bird.
What’s In It For You
The personal and business benefits of transparency are astounding.
You Greatly Reduce Your Run-ins With Conflict & Guilt.
“Miscommunication is one of the biggest causes of conflict in interpersonal relationships, and transparency helps to reduce the occurrences of miscommunication.” – Eli Adversity
When people say they trust you, they aren’t trusting you to be perfect.
When they trust you they’re trusting you to be who you’ve presented yourself to be.
Once you present yourself or your business as a certain type of entity people expect you to deliver on that standard. The moment someone takes a risk on you, be it with their money, their secrets, letting you into their home or heart, it means they’re expecting you to deliver on the standard you set. No one else set it for you.
Conversely, losing someone’s trust doesn’t mean you’ve presented a character flaw or made a human mistake of some sort. People accept each others through those circumstances daily.
Losing someone’s trust means you stepped outside of the standard you lead them to believe in, which in turn made them question everything else you presented yourself to be.
So if you remain authentic in your strengths, weaknesses, business, and character, you almost never have to disappoint anyone around you, or suffer the conflict and guilt resulting from that disappointment.
You Get More Accountability — The Greatest Ingredient Of Growth
“As an introvert and a private person by nature transparency was not something that came natural to me, but I quickly learned that a sense of transparency and vulnerability were key to making true connections.” – Chanel Cumberbatch
You want personal growth?
Face yourself.
Furthermore, allow those who you’ve promised a standard to to judge you based on your consistency in upholding the standard.
People say “the first step is admitting you have the problem” because there’s no way to grow without acknowledgment of where the immaturity exists. This requires transparency.
You Stop Questioning Your Circle’s and Following’s Acceptance Of You
“…This attracts the right people, deters the wrong ones, and you never have to overthink who you are trying to represent.” – Arne Giske
When people know your truth their decision is simple: at what level can they show up for you.
Some will decide to stay distant. They’ll follow you on IG without buying your product. Others will disappear, but the best people for you at that time of your journey will decide to be your best friends and best clients.
When you reach a point of consistent transparency and allow everyone around you to see you as you are you get to firmly believe this one thing: no one in your life is out of place or holding you back.
Not a friend, and not a customer.
People Give Their Money to Those They Trust
“We live in a world where markers are full of crap 99.9% of the time. So when you go out there and you’re completely transparent you automatically set yourself a step ahead of everyone else.” – Dan Henry
I don’t care if it’s asking a friend to borrow money or asking a client to take a chance in paying you for a service. If they don’t know who you are, you aren’t getting the money. You start hearing “I don’t have it, I’m sorry.” and excuses of the sort.
What they really mean is “I don’t know if I’m going to get what I want out of this transaction.”
And that’s because they’ve picked up on an inconsistency with what you’re presenting that makes them question who you really are and what your business is really capable of.
So when it comes to business, you need to make sure your target audience trusts you before you ask for the sale.